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Messages - DeviantProtagonist

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Welcome Center / Stepping down for a while.
« on: October 29, 2016, 10:03:41 am »
Which by that? I mean a very long while.

When I first joined this community, I was star-struck with the pursuit of meeting people; it'd make for talk, laugher, gaming... and just being myself.

But recent events have made it abundantly clear I'm prone to lose my way. I've been reaching out to others, but I still haven't been fully redeemed.

Not yet.

Some things need time to mend, which I realized too little too late... These are things you don't know you can truly take back -- a no-win scenario.

To make matters worse? I've had a close friend demonizing me with little-to-no remorse -- do you have any idea what that does to my conscience?

I broke down, big time. I'll do my damnedest to make things better.

So, I will impose on myself a year-long hiatus, starting in November. I'll cease contact with the Idolmaster community and by extension its hobbies.

... Even if I'm to deprive myself of such pleasures? So be it. This'll be my solution to that no-win scenario; for growth, and if God willing, forgiveness.

I know few will be disheartened by this, so I'll leave you a memento:

I'm not that remarkable, but now you have a face. For those really aware, here was my sister:

These are the glory days, where you could worry about virtually nothing. I strive to live by good example, if only because I'm the one child really able to anymore.

Furthermore, it's not often I take from my Native American culture... but we go by seven teachings of words, and how they're representative to animals that give.

The bear represents courage; the wolf for humility; the eagle for love; the buffalo for respect; the turtle for truth; the beaver for wisdom; the raven for honesty.

Hell, I'm not even very traditional at all -- I'm more the apple that's red on the outside, white in -- but even then, to go against these examples just isn't my way.

For all fellow Producers here, please continue repping our idols to heart's content; I know you'll look after them. Any praise to Kotoha would also make me happy.

I'll miss your banter to say the least, but please treat each other well -- like a family. I can spare a few more days for replies... but I'm set on journeying myself.

See you in the next generation from now. Third Vision, maybe?

General chatter / The decadence of life scares me.
« on: October 27, 2016, 07:05:00 am »
And not for myself, but rather loved ones.

Time and again I'm gripped by this one irrational fear: to lose a parent. This occurs sporadically, and it'll bring me down. It's not so much I dread their actual cause of death, but the inevitability.

It's rough, and is a quicker way to trigger me a fight-or-flight response... But granted, I feel many here can relate. Anyway, I'll lend further context on my mother -- for starters, her name is Diane.

She also reached her fifties, yet will live many more thanks to exercise. Moreover, Diane's a responsible woman, often working health care. She's charitable and quick to call people out for wrongdoing.

At home? She's caring as you'd expect; Diane pushed me to graduation and left many a valuable advice since. Even as we live separately, she sends biscuits or left-overs occasionally. Genuine super-mom.

So yeah, it weighs on me. No one had a larger impact, and to this day I still find myself asking, "how would she do it?" I know people aren't made to bottle up... So here I ask, how does one even cope?

If anything, I do feel better typing this.

Other iM@S discussion / Re: The Recent Youtube Purge...
« on: October 27, 2016, 06:33:39 am »
I really hope they don't screw over your channel, Yukibro. I like to revisit EX commus every now and then.

But man, It's the fact Columbia don't focus on PS videos is what's bothersome enough. It's unpredictable.

Other iM@S discussion / Re: The Recent Youtube Purge...
« on: October 27, 2016, 03:02:53 am »
Alright, then that much is clear; fuck Columbia Japan with a steaming iron rod.

I really hope you can appeal the suspension. Nobody needs to deal with this.

Other iM@S discussion / The Recent Youtube Purge...
« on: October 27, 2016, 02:39:15 am »
First and foremost, what the actual fuck?

So this debacle cropped up just now -- numerous content creators have had their channels ended with copyright strikes. What precedent kicked this off so globally is beyond me.

What I do know off-hand is the following users struck down are Heat End, Hime Idol, ShirayukiP, TheTanStar, ClimbyP and Virgofall. There's indeed more, from what people tell me.

There are no words as to how hard I'd rip into Namco right now. These people have been creative and dedicated fans, spreading the joy of iM@S to more a widespread audience.

Aaaaaaaaa- I could just plow my fucking head through this monitor right now! This is WRONG.

Welcome Center / Re: Hello, my loyal subjects~
« on: October 27, 2016, 12:17:25 am »
That was incredibly endearing. You certainly have a nice selection of favourites, as I'm also a RicchanP.

Welcome to the fold, Hime. Here's to your enjoyment here.

General chatter / Re: Ever have a dream about iDOLM@STER?
« on: October 26, 2016, 04:45:07 am »
I'm back! Seeing as I left these in our Discord, have a double feature:

It was where I walked down a highway at night. Look around? Saw nothing but empty fields for miles.

But before I knew it, some headlights flashed right behind me... then I get slammed by a speeding car.

I ended up on the hood of this, rolling on my stomach and clinging for dear life. Finally, I see the occupants.

Three damn producers, AkaP, TakeP and P head. All of them head-banging to What is Love by Haddaway.

I was Sayoko Takayama's dad. We drove to the parking lot of a lavish stadium; she was due to perform with big-names.

After we parked, I called her my princess and wished her well. When I went to open Sayoko's door, however, she cried.

When I asked what's wrong, Sayoko told me she was afraid to perform. Textbook stage fright. She trembled like crazy.

Things got a little hazy, but I embraced her afterwards, telling her she'd have papa watching, even if nobody else were.

She then gained back her composure and a confident smile. Last thing I remember was Kaede, waiting to take her hand.

Suffice to say, both of these made me feel great for different reasons.

THE iDOLM@STER Platinum Stars / Re: DL Lives
« on: October 26, 2016, 02:08:33 am »
Woah, that was pretty deep.  Guess, I learned more about you.

Sorry.  Anyways, we all accept your apology regarding the recent incident.  In my opinion, I think both parties are equally to blame, so it's not entirely your fault.  I understand you felt guilty about your reaction, but it's good that you came up to give a sincere apology.  And, we all respect that as that takes a lot of courage and dignity.  And, I think you made a good example to everyone on the forum.  Something, we all should follow not only on the internet but also in real life.

I needed to prove who my real self was, with all targeting sings pointed on me and my willingness to pull the trigger. It's something many take for granted, yet I totally understand why.

Still, I drew too near the point of no return; I'd be too ashamed in your presence, let alone deem myself a worthwhile friend and to others who do. Gratefully, one of ours gave that push.

While I refuse to again lose sight of myself, we're all humans capable of failure. Thinking I should emphasize less on what role models did best and more as to how they handle problems.

Apology accepted DeviantProtagonist, and thank you.

First of all, this is the internet, there will always be arguing and misunderstandings, due to the written form. And, like you, i'm no stranger to being bullied, i have been bullied all my childhood until i moved to a different school in a neighboring at village the age of 14 (which had nothing to do with the bullying, simply because there was no "high school" in the village where i lived) and i learned not to take everything at heart.

That said, to be honest, after all this, i admit i toned back my efforts trying to help everyone out with the game (e.g. i didn't put as much effort into the scoring mechanics analysis as i intended to).

As for my persistence on the topic (edit: and i say this fully aware that this could start the whole mess again):
I kept persisting for 2 reasons:

1) No one of you ever answered the question i kept asking: in what manner would you prefer the items from the DL lives to be in the game, without altering the game's (drop) mechanics? As long as this question isn't answered, i simply can't see any blame in the DL lives or their implementation, imo all the blame is in the drop system itself.
The only way i see is to make all the DL live items, as well as all other items in the game, ex clear rewards, thus making the drop system pretty much obsolete and nothing more than a nice bonus for getting items early or leveling them up. But this solution is borderline "altering the game's (drop) mechanics". And once again: i fully agree that the drop system really really sucks and needs to be changed by implementing a floor (at least 1 gold present very x lives) or something.
I probably keep insisting on this because i hate seeing the, in my eyes at least, innocent being blamed for something they didn't do, even if it isn't people.

2) This here is the only place where i saw such negativity towards the game, and it frankly strikes me as odd.

Edit: added some words that went missing after shifting sentences around while writing the post.

I'm beyond happy to know that. The written form can indeed go a long way in causing harm, which had I any foresight to, I'd punch myself many times over. Nevertheless, an amnesty like this can breed something so much more.

I mean, if I could buy you some rounds of beer, I'd totally would. Looking forward to those new kinds of possibilities. Still, my personal grievances aren't over just yet... but I'm glad we're able to gain closure with this one, Naryoril.

To more an amusing side, a percentage floor was indeed added at some point; no clue on numbers, but the summary was one of Namco's partners threatened to drop out after having done 2000 Lives with nothing to show for it.

Sure did away with Namco's cold shoulder, right then and there.

THE iDOLM@STER Platinum Stars / Re: DL Lives
« on: October 25, 2016, 12:33:18 am »
I need to address this, Naryoril. Not only to end strife, but to at least save myself from... well, myself.

More to that, what took this so damn long is that I'm a coward, sweeping bad things beneath the rug without looking at long-term ramifications. This dawned on me upon losing a dear friend, so now I'm hell-bent on killing personal demons.

Starting with some context, I don't think myself highly as a person. Not in the moral sense, but as an individual altogether; I was bullied as a student, watching time and again as I saw sweethearts slip away... no thanks to my lack of initiative.

Moving onto the now, I became solely reliant on meeting people, so as to follow their examples on how to live a happy life; whether they be selfless or highly intelligent, I was inspired. I tend to choose my friends very, very deliberately.

Sadly, the prospect of this got to my head; it turned me into something ugly; something cruel to you.

I still think the implementation of DL Lives are sloppy, yet we could've had a mutual disagreement, and I'd have ended it at that point, absolutely. Instead, I insulted you, mocked your persistence and ran gossip away from the forums. Bad things.

Right then and there I became something that I hated most -- a bully -- and now it's tearing me apart.

Outstanding fucking hypocrisy, so you heard it from me! In some fairness, the catalyst wasn't entirely my doing; Setsuna poured her heart in an objective post, only for you to brush it off as fallacy. That is what angered me. Kicked everything off.

Beyond this, however, I did in fact go too far in what I gloried as retribution. Sweet revenge. I'm awful.

Truth be told, I'm rather envious of you; not only have you endured my abuse, you kept things cool under heavy contention with Setsuna. More yet, you indulge in an unadulterated love for your idol. A proper individual to learn from, if I ever saw one.

To be seen a malignant bastard is one of my worst personal failures -- it's enough to spite myself with cursing, even self-inflicted harm. I mean Christ, I damn-near ran my palm on the edge of a garden scythe... but abstinence got the best of things.

To think if my mom saw that? My deceased sister? I can at least atone for these acts... but overall, my actions were deplorable and I have no right to ask forgiveness, not to mention for others affected. Yet... I can at least try for an understanding.

I truly look forward to seeing Azumin's take on Here We Go.

THE iDOLM@STER Platinum Stars / Re: DL Lives
« on: October 11, 2016, 06:55:28 pm »
Next thing you know it'll be recolored accessories.

Oh well, our bots will eat it up. Om nom nom nom.

Derived products, CD albums & anime / Re: PLATINUM MASTER series CDs
« on: September 27, 2016, 05:08:42 am »
Yukiho never got 99 Nights? A real heart-breaker, that one.

Derived products, CD albums & anime / Re: PLATINUM MASTER series CDs
« on: September 26, 2016, 09:29:27 pm »
Yeah, the Overmaster is so damn blatant with Insane Game. I'd like to think that wasn't intentional.

That being said, I don't mind Resistance nor Miracle Night, though that stems from a bias for "cool."

I'll hold out for dedicated MASTER solos; I echo the notion Yayoi doesn't fit in well, given the context.

An important update -- the illness is not life-threatening, so she'll return upon fully healing:


Needless to say, my mood is placated beyond belief.... Get well soon, Tane-chan! \(⌒▽⌒)/

THE iDOLM@STER Platinum Stars / Re: DL Lives
« on: September 12, 2016, 11:02:23 pm »

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