"You think your life is hard?
Well, EFF YOU. It has nothing on mine. My mom practically kicked my ass
out of the house before I hit thirteen, and I never even met my dad. My only
friend till I was ten was the kool-aid prick next store who was always beating
the snot out of me and telling me I wasn’t worth crap. Its not even like I had
a choice. During my entire adolescence, I was moving around from place to
place trying to get along with people who didn’t even want me.
You think that’s the worst? My only friend was an Asian guy in his thirties or
something, who only kept me around because he thought I could help him get
laid. The only perk was that I also got to hang around with this cute ginger
chick. She was flat as a pancake, sure, but damn, she was a total nymph.
She must have been a sadist or something cause she always took pleasure in
hitting me and telling me how she loved to get excited.
But dear god, the bane of my existence was this adult couple that I could NOT
seem to avoid. You know, those absolutely sickening couples, like they wear
matching outfits and finish each other’s sentences? Yeah they were total
creepers. They also had a cat, which was at least twice as annoying as they
were. I swear, this thing would never shut up.
Like I said, I ended up moving from town to town getting into fights with
other kids my age, even adults from time to time.
The only thing that kept me going was my dream to become a Pokemon
master."
(Of course, I take no credit for writing this epic.)
