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Author Topic: mariokirby’s Fanfiction (subject to failure)  (Read 5776 times)


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mariokirby’s Fanfiction (subject to failure)
« on: June 21, 2015, 08:35:30 pm »
I don’t know why I started on this.  I’ve never done one of these before.  But, I guess it was kind of fun since I don’t have a whole lot of games or animes that I like.  I honestly don’t expect anyone to like this.

Please read the disclaimers
1.   I’m NOT a writer.  So, my writing and grammar is terrible.

2.   This is full of clichés and bad ideas.  So, read at your own discretion.

3.   I might add certain things not found in Idolm@ster.  Like new characters and different background story.

4.   I wanted to use the posts to upload my chapters since it’s more convenient to edit them. I frequently change things to make them better.

5.   The Producer's name is Sabr.

6.    Sabr and I share a lot in common in terms of our personality and talents.

7.   You’re welcome to comment, give suggestions, or point out any obvious flaws especially with my grammar.

8.   The stories are pretty much all about Chihaya since (Yes, I know I said this a million times) she’s my most favorite woman in the world.  If you would like to see why I’m in love with her, then check the link below to find a previous post that I made not too long ago.

Chihaya Love,25.msg61375.html#msg61375


The Producer,2329.msg61584.html#msg61584

The Idols,2329.msg61585.html#msg61585

The Long Wait,2329.msg61808.html#msg61808

Great Disappointment,2329.msg62017.html#msg62017
« Last Edit: July 04, 2015, 10:31:24 pm by mariokirby »


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Re: mariokirby’s Fanfiction (subject to failure)
« Reply #1 on: June 21, 2015, 08:39:04 pm »
The Producer

It is spring.  In this breezy, cool morning a young male is seen completing laps along a trail inside a nearby park full of green grass, sculpted fountains, and rows of trees with their branches swaying synchronously with the wind.  His navy blue shorts and plain white t-shirt were damp from perspiration as he passed several walkers. He quickly glances at his timer on his iPhone that’s strapped to his right forearm as drops of sweat were dripping down from his exhausted face.

Sabr: (“Good.”)  He thought to himself while still running and breathing fast.  (“I haven’t lost my touch. Just 2 more minutes.)

[Sabr is a 16 year old male.  When it comes to athletics, he is extremely talented and can do anything.  But, not much is known about him other than he is from America and both of his parents were Japanese.  His father was deceased a few years ago shortly after divorcing his mother who currently is living in a nursing home.  He also has an elder sister (passed away long time ago). He recently failed an idol audition in America despite scoring the highest in all categories]

It was a big change for him especially at his young age.  Moving from his hometown in America to Japan where he will be starting on a new internship.   Something he or anyone could never imagine doing…producing idols.  It is unclear to everyone how or why he was brought into this new path. Unfortunately, school is still an obstacle he would have to attend and balance while staying here.

The trails in the park branch off and join back together like two roads that merge on a highway.  While passing a merge point he notices another young man with brown hair, black shorts, and a t-shirt (with a picture of a Gundam on the front) from the adjacent trail joining him.

Touma: (“Hmm…this guy has got a good pace”) He pondered to himself while smiling disparagingly and running beside Sabr. 

[Touma is a 17 year old idol that’s part of the Jupiter Unit.  He’s has a competitive personality that is always striving to improve himself by welcoming challenges and overcoming them through talent, hard-work, and determination.  Very well buried beneath this rough persona is a sincere person who helps people in need regardless of the consequences.  He seems like someone who can be both your rival and your best friend.  He is often teased by his teammates.]

It seems to please him to find another guy who appeared so serious about training.

Touma:  (“I wish those other idiots were like this guy,”) he grumpily thought to himself.  Touma is often annoyed by his other 2 companions’ laid-back nature when it came to idol work.

Being a competitive person Touma decided to test him.

Touma: “Hey, can you go faster?,” he dared while briefly turning his head and increasing his speed and suddenly became ahead of Sabr.

Sabr: (“Huh? What’s this guy’s problem?”) he curiously thought while accelerating to match Touma’s pace.  There was something peculiar about this person other than his discernible t-shirt.

Touma: (“Not bad”) he contemplated while still smiling disparagingly and responded by a further increase his speed.

Unfortunately, Sabr was feeling the exhaustion from a full run and was struggling to keep up with Touma.

Sabr: (“Guh...I can’t go on”) he conceded as his legs slowed down to a halt and bent down to catch his breath.

Touma: “Heh, I won!” he laughed as he kept moving forward.

Sabr: “…didn’t!” he stood up and hollered back but was hyperventilating.  “I…was….…Oh God...I…can’t…speak…right now.” He faltered as he bent forward with his hands on his knees.

After a few minutes Sabr was able to catch his breath.  He looked in the distance but couldn’t find the guy that taunted him.

Sabr: (“Ugh, I got carried away.”) he sighed as he looked up towards the sky. (“Who was he anyways?”) he thought while shrugging.

Sabr proceeded with his routine stretching exercises.  He warms-up with lighter stretches using one leg at a time before progressing into deeper stretches, which involve full front and side splits. While Sabr was in the middle of his side split he glances at his cell-phone to check the time.

Sabr: “Oh God! I’m late!” he exclaimed while standing up immediately. (“That guy took way too much of my time!!!”)

After regretting Sabr immediately sprinted straight to his apartment complex and almost collided with his neighbors as he skipped 4 steps at a time while climbing the stairs to his apartment. 

Sabr: “Sorry!” he quickly apologizes as he perfectly dodges around a couple.  His neighbors reacted with a nasty look.

His 1st day of work is today, and already he’s making a terrible 1st impression.  When he reached home to get ready he suddenly noticed something very important was missing from his closet as he was changing his clothes.

Sabr: “Are you kidding me!? God! I’m such an idiot!!” he said with an aggravated tone as he slammed the bed with his palm.

Apparently, Sabr completely forgot to bring his formal suit when he moved overseas.  Now his new company will really think negatively of him as he only owns casual clothes.  Sabr calms down and tries to think what to wear.

Sabr: “This will do, I guess…..” he sighed as he picks up an outfit off his bed that he’s expected to wear at school.  (“Looks decent enough”) he reasoned.

Sabr took one glance at his bathroom mirror before dashing towards the train station.  With using the train it takes a total of 45 minutes from his home to reach his new work place.  Unfortunately, the last train departed when he entered the train station.  He would have to wait 15 minutes until the next train arrives.

Sabr: (“Is it going to be one of those days where everything goes wrong?”) he groaned as he reaches his iPhone from his pocket to read his emails.
« Last Edit: January 19, 2017, 03:27:46 am by mariokirby »


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Re: mariokirby’s Fanfiction (subject to failure)
« Reply #2 on: June 21, 2015, 08:43:19 pm »
The Idols

The 765pro office is located on the top floor of a plain, empty building next to an arcade center.  Fortunately for 765pro, the rent is cheap since all the businesses moved out and nobody wanted to setup their company there.  The building was known to cause businesses to go bankrupt.

The 765pro agency consists of 12 rookie idols, 1 semi-retired idol/pseudo-producer, 1 secretary, and 1 president.   All the idols are very unique from each other in terms of their looks, personality, and talents.

Kotori: *On the phone* “Yes, Yes….I’m sorry we didn’t fulfill your expectations……….Ah, we hope to work with you next time.” She nervously said as she hung up the phone on her desk.

Haruka: “Who was that? Was that from the audition?” she asked as she placed next to Kotori a plate of pound cake she baked this morning.

[Haruka is a 17 year old idol.  Though clumsy with no idol related talent to brag about, she has a bright, optimistic attitude which keeps her motivated despite experiencing one failure after another.  She’s pretty good at baking sweets.]

Kotori looks down and nods her head and sighs.

Haruka: “Were we really that bad?” she contemplated as she placed her index finger on the side of her head.

Chihaya was sitting on the couch across the office listening to her headphones for a song she sang in the last job. She was observing Kotori and Haruka talking to each other.  The lyrics just ended as Haruka approaches her with a depressed look.

Chihaya: “What’s wrong? What were you talking to Kotori about?” she asked as she removes the headphones off her head. 

[Chihaya is a 16 year old idol.  She has an incredible singing talent and a mature personality.  She is also a hard-worker who keeps up with her vocal lessons and likes to work-out.  Unfortunately, Chihaya places all efforts on singing without giving much regards to other aspects of an idol.  People also find her stoic as she tends to be not very open about herself.  Interestingly, she has an interest in photography but hasn't done much so far] 

Haruka: “We were talking about our last job” she sadly says.  She sits next to Chihaya on the couch and faces her.  “They said that we were terrible at everything.”

Chihaya: “Eh?” she gaped with her eyes briefly wide open.  “Then what about the song I sang?” she curiously asked as she closes her laptop and faces Haruka. 

Haruka: “Well….Kotori said that the staff felt you were “off” and “uninteresting”.

Chihaya: “I see…….ku” she depressingly sighs while looking down.  Chihaya doesn’t understand why people don’t like her songs despite being very talented at singing.

Miki: zzzzzzZZZZZ

Chihaya and Haruka briefly glanced at Miki who was napping on the couch across from them. 

Chihaya: “At this rate, we’ll never get anywhere” she sadly remarks while putting her headphone back inside her bag.

Haruka: “Don’t worry.  We’re still rookies.” she answers with encouragement. “Nobody becomes top idol overnight”

Chihaya: “I know but still…” She unhappily replies while placing her laptop inside her bag.  “I just hope we hire a producer soon.” She briefly stretches her arms above her head and then breaths out.  “I’m sure a producer can turn things around for all of us.”

Just then Chihaya and Haruka heard some screaming on the other end of the office.

Yukiho: “I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!” she cries from the kitchen as she starts rapidly wiping Iori’s skirt from the teacup she accidently spilt over her.

[Yukiho is a 17 year old idol.  Her introverted qualities are what give her a solid place in her fanbase.  Unfortunately, her confidence is a little as her courage.  Her fears of dogs or someone from the opposite gender can trigger quite a massive hysteria.]

Iori: “Ow! Ow! It’s hot!  It’s hot!”  she angrily cries out as she pulls her skirt away from her skin. “What’s your problem!  We don’t need another Haruka!”

[Iori is a 15 year old Idol.  Born from a wealthy family, her attitude and demeanor reveals a quick-temper, spoiled girl.  She is often seen carrying a stuff rabbit wherever she goes.  Iori is quite well-known in the office for her tsundere personality.  Something that’s subject to teasing from her co-idols.]

Yayoi: “Is everything alright?”  she asked while peeking into the kitchen to see what’s all the yelling about.

[Yayoi is a 14 year old idol.  She’s the oldest among her 5 siblings, but demonstrates hard-work with a positive attitude by helping taking care of her family.  Unfortunately, she needs much improvement with her dance skills as colliding with her co-idols is quite common during a rehearsal.]

Azusa: “Now, now” she calmly response to Iori as she bends down on her knees to wipe the tea spilt on the floor.  “It was only an accident.  You know how she’s scared of men”

[Azusa is 21 year old idol.  Her nice, calm attitude and voice really gives a sense of maturity and trust to those that meet her. Unfortunately, her sense of direction is so lacking, that it’s possible she could get lost inside a paper bag.]

Iori: “Hmph!” she grunts.  Iori was reading a male idol magazine before Yukiho came to serve her tea and panicked”  “If she gets so scared of a picture then she might as well just close her eyes and just crawl into a corner since she’s not that useful to begin with.”

Yukiho: “Uh!” she gawked as tears quickly filled her eyes.  “I knew I’m not worth it!” What Iori remarked was like a spark that’s about to
become an inferno.

Azusa: “W-wait. Yukiho-chan.” she quickly replies as she stood up and gently placed her hand on Yukiho’s shoulder.  “She didn’t mean to say that.  She’s just being very angry right now”

Yukiho: “oooouuuuu!” she still continues to mumble while tears were streaming down her cheek as she desperately reaches a unique object from the pantry.  Her emotions are about to hit its peak.

Makoto: “Ahhh! Wait! Stop Yukiho!” she screamed as she came dashing into the kitchen and grabs Yukiho’s arm that was holding a shovel while prying it off her hand.

[Makoto is a 17 year old idol.  Her tomboyish look and personality earn her an established fanbase.  Still, she expresses several times to switch to a more feminine image since she’s already sick of her tomboy nature.  Unfortunately, her quick-temper and fanbase prevents any successful attempts.]

Yuhiho: “ooooouuuu!  I should just dig a hole and bury myself!!!” she cries aloud.   

Azusa: “Yukiho-chan.  You’re going…to…ah…need to calm yourself.” She replies as she struggles to grasp on to Yukiho’s other arm to prevent her from moving.

Makoto: “Yayoi! Take the shovel!”  she shouts as she snatches and tosses the shovel to Yayoi. “Go take it somewhere! No, actually go throw it in the garbage!  It’s for her own good!”

Yayoi: “No problem!” she answers as she catches the shovel and rushes out the kitchen to the garbage bin.

Chihaya and Haruka were listening to the whole commotion

Chihaya: “I hope everything is okay” she curiously asks Haruka.

Haruka: “Don’t worry.  Were like a family” she proudly states.

Chihaya: “Family…huh.” she mumbles to herself.  Something about that word made her feel uncomfortable.  She quickly changes the subject
“By the way, do you think you can come with me to the electronic store after work? I’m thinking about getting an iPad since I think it will help me keep track of my songs while I’m out doing a job.” she explained.  “I need one with a lot of memory”

Haruka: “Sure.  I’m kind of looking for an iPad myself” she replies happily. “Ah, but first you have to try this cafe by the mall.  They have really good cakes and gelato.“

Chihaya: “I suppose so” she replies uninterestingly.  “I’ll probably take something to-go for dinner.  That would save me a trip to the convenient store”

Miki: “Hmmm…what’s all that the noise about” she yawns as she slowly rises from a deep slumber.  Her sleepy face perfectly matches her tousled hair as she sits up on the couch. 

[Miki is a 15 year old idol.  She is quite talented as an idol for someone as lazy as her.  Miki often skips lessons and naps despite Ritsuko’s fury.  Her big breasts and good looks is something she often brags about.]

Ritsuko: “Miki!!” she yells as she stomps towards the couch Miki was sitting on.  Each stomp echoed throughout the office.  “The vocal sensei said you didn’t attend this morning’s lesson!”

[Ritsuko is a 19 year old pseudo-producer that wears glasses.  She was an idol, but decided to take a break from the demands and do something lighter which is to produce rookie idols.  Unfortunately for the younger-aged idols, her temper is as short as her height.]

Miki: “But, I did” she retorts.  It’s just that I got hungry after 5 minutes, so I got something to eat and—

Ritsuko: “And you decided to take a nap!” she abruptly interrupts.  She firmly grasps Miki’s head.

Miki: “Ow! What are you doing!” she cried.

Ritsuko: “I’m taking you to the vocal lesson” she angrily replies while dragging Miki off the couch.

Miki: “But. Ow! It’s almost lunch time” she complains while resisting Ritsuko pull.

Ritsuko: “Then you’re skipping lunch!” she answers swiftly.

Miki: “Ehhhh! But, my sexy figure is going to be ruined” she whines.

Ami: “Whew. Thank goodness we have mikimiki to occupy Ritsuko-chan” she grins as she watches Miki being dragged by Ritsuko toward the door. She has been playing on her 3DS.

Mami: “I know.” she agreed while playing her own 3DS.  “I can’t stand Ritsuko-chan drill sergeant attitude.”

[Ami and Mami are both identical 13 year old twins.  Their hairstyles are different, but their personality and hobbies are pretty much the same. 
They are quite known to pull pranks and often get in trouble with Ritsuko.]

Ritsuko: “Ami! Mami! I need to have a serious talk with you two after I deal with this trouble maker” she says while turning her head towards them.

Ami: “Eh? What for?” she curiously asks. She paused her game.

Ritsuko: “Your school principal complained to the office that you’re failing your classes” she replied while still firmly holding Miki’s head with one hand.

Ami + Mami: “Eh?! They actually went that far?” they gaped.

Ritsuko: “When I come back I want to see your heads in the books.  And, you’re not allow to play games in the office until you start passing your classes.” she sternly orders.

Mami: “Nooooo!” she gasped.  “That’s so cruel”

In the living room Takane and Hibiki are watching a cooking channel on TV.

Hibiki:  “Takane, why are we still watching this?” she complains while facing Takane.  “They’ve been cooking for an hour without eating anything”

[Hibiki is a 16 year old idol.  She’s basically the definition of an animal lover and owns 10 different pets at home. Hibiki is very active with a positive attitude.  She has an incredible dance talent that is respected by everyone.  She even knows how to cook.]

Takane: “Hibiki.  You lack elegance.” she replied while looking blissful.  Cooking isn’t something so unpretentious.  One must comprehend the art in order to discover is true meaning.

[Takane is an 18 year old idol.  Her selling point is how mysterious and cryptic she is about herself.  Nobody knows much about her other than she loves eating food.  Takane frequently speaks in an enigmatic manner that often confuses people who are not listening carefully.]

Hibiki: “You say that, but then you always end up eating like a pig” she gripes while frowning. 

Takane is known for gluttony whenever she eats out.

Takane: “Ah, well, you see……… that’s because the dishes tastes so good.” she murmurs while looking away with her fingers together.

Hibiki: “Huh? You weren’t exactly supposed to agree with me, you know” she muttered while staring at Takane with surprise.

Just then a loud scream came from Kotori desk.

Kotori: “Ahhhhhh!!!!” she jumped out of her office chair with a shocked look.  “I forgot to tell you guys something important!!!”

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stood up to turn to Kotori.

Ritsuko: “What do you mean?” she calmly asks while still holding on to Miki.

Ami: “Did you pee on yourself again, Piyo-chan?” she snickered.

Kotori: “N-no!” she shouted with embarrassment.  “A-nd, I told you to forget about that already!”

Haruka: “Ah, is it a new job?” she excitedly asks.

Kotori: “No, but something even better.” she replied.  “We just hired a new producer!”

The office was silent for a few seconds until that imperative piece of information sunk down in everyone’s mind.

Everyone: “Ehhhhhh?!!!!” they all clamored synchronously.
« Last Edit: September 17, 2015, 10:55:49 pm by mariokirby »


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Re: mariokirby’s Fanfiction (subject to failure)
« Reply #3 on: June 21, 2015, 09:28:44 pm »
From what I'm getting, this is likely going to be a rewritten Secind Vision. Not too bad

Also, an error I noted is that Yayoi's age is wrong, if we are going by 2nd vision. Yayoi is 14, while in 1st vision she was 13. Unless we somehow pulled a DS and traveled back in time.
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Re: mariokirby’s Fanfiction (subject to failure)
« Reply #4 on: June 21, 2015, 10:15:27 pm »
Whoops! My fault. Corrected. Thank you so much.

I added a piece of info to Producer description.


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Re: mariokirby’s Fanfiction (subject to failure)
« Reply #5 on: June 21, 2015, 10:58:09 pm »
It is nothing since this is a fan fiction :) Nothing is "wrong" in "your story."

But I do think you need to be a bit more creative... :P

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Re: mariokirby’s Fanfiction (subject to failure)
« Reply #6 on: June 21, 2015, 11:56:17 pm »
Thanks for the feedback. 

There will be more creativity once I introduce more made up characters, new scenes, and the producer's history.  I don't want to deviate too much from the Idolm@ster universe since it might turn off people.


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Re: mariokirby’s Fanfiction (subject to failure)
« Reply #7 on: June 22, 2015, 06:03:40 pm »
Actually, if you can turn the story into something different, it may be even more interesting. That's the advantage of a fan fiction: no certain limitation, as long as you keep their identity and personality intact, plus a constructive plot.

If you're able to do a cross-over with other game or anime, it can be even better ;) I've always thinking about an Ace Combat combination, but just don't have time to complete the plot.

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Re: mariokirby’s Fanfiction (subject to failure)
« Reply #8 on: June 23, 2015, 12:25:37 am »
Well, I was planning on having the idols act out scenes similar to what they performed in the action drama (episode 26) and Neumrihime (in the movie).  The producer will be there to assist Chihaya and might be pulled into a role since one of the actors was sick in the hospital.

Plus, I might have them try acting in other movies/dramas as well.  I know it's not what you have in mind, but it's hard to completely do something different.  Especially, when there aren't too many things I like.  And the things that I do like probably won't make good cross-overs anyway.

I know Grace can pull it off.  But, I don't have that talent since my writing is way too shallow.


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Re: mariokirby’s Fanfiction (subject to failure)
« Reply #9 on: June 27, 2015, 11:40:42 pm »
The Long Wait

Mami: “Hey, Piyo-chan. Tell us more ” she impatiently requests while jumping in front of Kotori with her arms up.

Ami: “Yeah, Piyo-chan. Don’t leave us hanging” she said immediately afterwards while jumping in front of Kotori in the same manner as her sister.

Kotori: “Huh? Uh?”  she replied with bewilderment.   “I don’t know much about the details, but I believe he’s from America, and he has a lot of talent.” She smiles and says, “So, he’ll be producing you guys from here on out”.

Chihaya: “This is very good news!” she happily rejoices while turning to face Haruka.

Haruka: “I know…right!” she smiles.   “From now on we’ll all aim for top idol.”

Iori: “Well, it’s about time.” she grumbled.  “Finally, someone recognizes my talents” she says while smirking and brushing her hair.

Makoto: “Or more like someone that recognized your need for talent ” she chuckled.

Iori: “Oh, shut up” she retorts while angrily pointed her finger at Makoto.

Azusa: “By the way, Kotori-chan” she asked while tilting her head and putting her finger next to her chin.  “When is this new producer coming?”

Kotori: “Oh, right. Let’s see” she quietly replies  to herself while looking at her phone.  “If it’s 11:55 now and he’s expected to come 12:00”.  Then she announces to everyone, “He’s coming in 5 minutes.”

Everyone looked shocked.

Ritsuko: “Wait! What!? Why didn’t tell us this earlier!?” she demanded while letting go of Miki who was rubbing her head from the pain of Ritsuko’s grip.

Kotori: “Eh! Well…uh…I knew about this a month ago, but I wanted save it as a surprise until the last week” she explains while nervously biting her lip. “But, then I completely for about it.  I’m really sorry!!” she bawled while bowing.

Ritsuko: “Can’t be helped” she sighs while closing her eyes and placing her palm on her forehead.  “Everyone get ready and clean up any mess around here!”

Yayoi: “Roger!” she replied automatically while dashing straight to the kitchen. “Iori, you come too!”

Iori: “What? Why? It’s not my job to clean” she objected.

Yayoi: “That’s not true! It’s everyone’s job” she scolds while grabbing Iori’s hand and dragging her.

Haruka: “Chihaya and I will handle the study area” she confidently states while placing her fist on her body.

Chihaya: “Yes, Haruka.  Come. Let’s hurry up” she quickly gestures while picking up the magazines that were laid disorganized on the coffee table.

Makoto: “Yukiho and I will make tea” she asserted while entering the kitchen.

Yukiho: “Yes!” she happily complies and followed Makoto.

Azusa: “Hmm…I suppose I can start dusting the place” she muttered to herself as she picked up the feather duster from a jumbled closet.

Hibiki: “Takane, we got work to do” she exclaimed as she starts wiping the table in the living room.  She shuts off the TV using the remote.

Takane: “Yes, I will be glad to assist your endeavor” she replies while straighten the pillows on the couch.

Mami: “Hey, Ami. What do we do?” she inquired while observing everyone’s cleaning.

Ami: “Hmm…..” she mutters out loud while crossing her arm and thinking deeply.

Kotori: “Could you please clean up the producer’s desk” she begged.  “I used it as extra space for my belongings”

Mami + Ami: “Roger!” they exclaimed.

Ritsuko: “So, all there’s left is….” she mumbled while glaring at Miki.

Miki: “Huh? What are you looking at, Ritsuko…….san?” she asked nervously.

Ritsuko: “Your face and hair is a complete mess.  Go straighten it out now!” she demanded.

Miki: “Y-yes!” she frightfully answered back as she rushes to the bathroom.

Makoto: “Whoa!! Turn off the stove Yukiho!!” she yelled when she noticed a paper towel that Iori tossed away near the stove caught on fire.

Yukiho: “Kyaaah” she panicked as she turns the gas stove knob off.

Yayoi: “Iori! Throw away the napkins in the trash!” she admonishes while picking up the burning napkin with thongs and rinses it in the sink.

Iori: *gasp*“…sorry” she pleads while looking down.

Chihaya: “Um..Haruka.  Where do we put these magazines?” she asks while carrying a stack of magazines.

Haruka: “Uhh…good question” she thinks while turning her head.  She was holding a stack of magazines as well.

Ami: “Place them here” she enthusiastically answers while pointing to a pile of junk the twins gathered.  “Takane and Hibiki already placed their things here too.”

The time is 12:00.  The idols managed to “clean” the office though its uncertain if the place was any better than before.  One can find conspicuous heaps of stuff underneath sheets as the idols tried to clear everything out of sight.  Azusa somehow ended up dusting the rooftop instead of the office.  Iori almost set the kitchen on fire.

Ritsuko: “Alright, everyone stand straight” she ordered.  “And be on your best behavior”

Everyone: “Yes!”

Haruka: “I wonder what the producer is like?” she nervously whispers to Chihaya.

Chihaya: “I don’t know, but we’ll find out” she smiles.

Apparently, each of the idols have their own preconceived conception of an “ideal” producer in their minds as there are waiting.

Haruka was imagining a producer who is a great pastry chef.

Haruka: (“I hope he can teach me new recipes”)

Chihaya was imagining a producer who is a fat, jolly opera singer.

Chihaya: (“He could help me with my singing”)

Miki was imagining a producer who is a very handsome guy.

Miki: (“I want to out with him”)

Takane was imagining a producer who is a top chef.

Takane: (“I would love try his cooking”)

Hibiki was imagining a producer who loves hiking and pets.

Hibiki: (“I can’t wait to play table tennis with him”)

Azusa was imagining a producer who is a world celebrity.

Azusa: (“I’d love to travel the world with him”)

Yukiho was imagining a female producer who is kind and generous.

Yukiho: (“We’re going to be best friends”)

Iori was imagining a producer with the mannerism of a handsome butler.

Iori: (“Well, he might be useful to me”)

Yayoi was imagining a producer who is like a big brother.

Yayoi: (He’s going to teach all sorts of things”)

Ami and Mami were imagining a producer who is a gamer.

Ami + Mami: (“Finally.  Two-players was too boring”)

Makoto was imagining a producer who was a women’s fashion designer.

Makoto: (“I’m going go for the girly looks this time”)

The time is now 12:15.  The idols are shifting around as they wait for their unpunctual producer.

Ritsuko: “Hmm…he seems to be a little late” she mutters as she glances at her watch.

Miki: “I’m hungry” she complains while grumpily looking down and her hand on her stomach.

Hibiki: “Hey, Kotori.  When’s he coming?” she insisted while facing Kotori.

Kotori: “Um..uh…he should be here anytime minute” she replied with uncertainty.  “I’m sure he’s on his way”

The idols by then have started to sit down while continuing to wait.  The office was silent as they nervously shift their gaze from their iPhones to the door and then back to their phones to see the time.  In their minds they were each planning on how to make a good 1st impression in front of their new producer.  Their impatience grew with each passing minute.

The time is 12:45.

Iori: “Oh my god! Where is he!?” she shouted while lightly slamming the coffee table with her phone.  She is still holding on to her stuff bunny with the other arm.

Yayoi: “I wonder if he’s lost?” she worriedly asks.

Mami and Ami were sitting on the couch with their faces flat on the coffee table.

Ami: “Ugh…I can’t wait any longer” she moans. 

Mami: “Use a phoenix down if I don’t wake up” she grumbles.

Azusa: “Hmm…I hope we aren’t waiting here all day” she mutters with her eyes closed.

Yukiho: “Makoto…do you she might be a scary person?” she anxiously asks.

Makoto: “That’s not important right now” she quickly retorts with a glower look.

Takane: “Wait!” she announces as she stood from the couch.  “I hear footsteps”

Kotori: “Ah, see? I told you he was coming” she proclaims with pride.

Ritsuko: “It’s 1:00!” she replied while clenching her teeth. “He’d better have a good excuse for making his idols wait for an hour. I would never
do such a thing to my idols” she proudly states while patting her chest.

Ami + Mami: “Oh, no Ritsuko-chan. You do much worse than this” they quietly grumbled while scowling at her.

All the idols stood together nervously in the middle of the office as the door slowly opened.  The moment they’ve been waiting for has finally arrived.  The person that will step into the light will be their guardian for their professional career.  An angel who will lift them high to where few idols have gone.  And, will make their dream a reality.  The future they look forward to is now in sight. That is Top Idol.


A short, overweight man wearing a cap and carrying an insulated food bag steps in.

“I have a lunch delivery for Takagi-san” announces the delivery man.  He takes out a ramen bowl from his insulated food bag.


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Re: mariokirby’s Fanfiction (subject to failure)
« Reply #10 on: July 03, 2015, 11:59:23 pm »
Update (spoilers but who cares, it's a poorly written fanfiction)

So, I finally decided on a first name for the Producer.  His name is Sabr, which means patience, perseverance, etc in Arabic.  I think it's very appropriate for his character since he struggles a long time to overcome his dark past.  His story comes into play after he single-handedly helps Chihaya with her past.

I'm trying to come up with a Japanese last name since they're Japanese.  I googled and found a bunch of last names.  But, I don't know which ones are good.  I guess I'll pick one that's not very common.
« Last Edit: July 17, 2016, 08:10:42 am by mariokirby »


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Re: mariokirby’s Fanfiction (subject to failure)
« Reply #11 on: July 04, 2015, 10:27:51 pm »
Great Disappointment

President: “Ah, thank you very much” he calls out while rushing out of his office room.

Delivery man: “There will be a 400 yen delivery charge too as well” he adds with a plain face.

President: “Of course, here…” he replies while handing the man enough yen to cover the expenses plus tip.

The delivery man nods and leaves with neither saying a word nor closing the door.

Ritsuko: “President, we’re kind of waiting for the producer” she moans while adjusting her glasses and glaring at the President. “And, I hope you used your money instead of the company’s assets.” she added.

President:”Er…O-of course!“ he nervously smiles while hastily retreating back to his domain to enjoy his sumptuous meal.
Just then a loud scream came from staircase that led to the office door.

Delivery man: “Hey! Watch it! You almost killed me” he yelled after desperately clinging onto the stair rails.  He had almost fallen down the stairs since someone else was climbing up very swiftly and almost knocked him off.

“Sorry! I’m in a rush!” hollered an unfamiliar voice.

The office was confused as to what happened as a young man dressed in a school uniform entered an already opened door.

Sabr: “Excuse me” he politely asked.  He was surprise to see many people standing as he was expecting to arrive at a front desk.  “I’m looking for the 765pro office”

Ritsuko: “This is the 765pro office” she answers. “What business do you have with us? (“Is he a part-time delivery guy?”) she pondered as she observes his school outfit.

Sabr: “Well, I’m the newly hired producer” he stated while smiling confidently and putting his hand on his chest.

Ritsuko: “Wait? What? Did you say producer?” she startled to this unexpected answer.  Her glasses became tilted.

President: “Ah, there you are!”  he called out while placing his hand on Sabr’s shoulder.  “Everyone, this is Sabr.  He’s our new producer. “ He patted his back.  “He’s 16 years old and doesn’t have much experience.  But, I’m sure he’ll be a great help to us” he laughs.

Sabr: “Hello everyone” he nods while moving his hand up.

There was no response for a few seconds as the idols continue to stare at Sabr with shock.  Their individual image of their own producer was shattered like a fallen glass mirror.

Haruka: (“Wow, he’s even younger than me)

 Chihaya: (“He doesn’t seem reliable”)

Miki: (“Hmm…he seems too serious)

Takane: (“There’s nothing elegant about him”)

Hibiki: (“He looks boring”)

Azusa: (“He makes me feel old”)

Yukiho: (“Uh! A man!?)

Iori: (“He looks like a loser”)

Yayoi: (“How does he work if he also goes to school?”)

Ami + Mami: (“I doubt this guy is a gamer”)

Makoto: (“His sense of fashion is really lacking”)

Sabr: (“Wow…tough crowd”) he disappointedly thought.  Still, he maintained his composure.

Kotori tries to break the silence as she realizes the idols disappointment.

Kotori: “W-welcome!” she stammers. She turns to the idols. “Everyone, say hi to Sabr”

“Hi” they half-heartedly greeted.  It seemed only half of them said that.

Kotori: “Here in front of you are the idols you will be producing” she says excitedly while gesturing her hands toward them.

Sabr: (“Wait a minute. I’m producing female idols?!”) he thought with astonishment. (“I thought I was producing male idols.  I don’t know anything about girls”).

Sabr shakes his doubts away.  There is an important reason for doing this.  Otherwise, he’ll never achieve his goals.

Sabr: “I hope to work you all.” he asserts.  “I will do my best to make you all high-ranking idols.”

Ritsuko: “Hey, you all show some manners to your new producer” she barked at her idols.

The idols were looking at each other expecting someone else to initiate the conversation.

Iori: “I’ll be blunt.” she snaps as she steps forward.  “You’re looks don’t come across to us as a producer.”

Makoto: “Yeah, how are you going to balance school and us?” she questions and crosses her arms while Yukiho was cowering behind her.

Takane: “You’re demeanor is quite a disappointment” she criticizes while frowning.

Azusa: “Hmm…you’re not quite what we had in mind” she says while placing her finger next to her chin.

Chihaya: *sighs* “Haruka, let’s go.  I don’t feel like talking to him” she unhappily remarks out loud while picking up her bag.  She glares at him and vents, “Especially, when he’s an hour late”

Haruka: “Uh..wait Chihaya-chan” she replies as she tries to locate her bag in the piles of junk but ends up tripping over an ethernet cable.

Haruka: “Uwwaahhh”!!! she yells as she falls face flat on the ground.

The idols don’t react to Haruka since her falling down is a very common incident.

Hibiki: “Meh…I guess we got excited for nothing” she sighs while folding her hands behind her head.

Miki: *Yawns* “I’m going to take a nap” she mutters as she walks away toward the couch.

Mami: “Hey, Ami we need to think of a new nickname for him” she sneers.

Ami: “And, we need to prank him good” she quietly chuckles.

Ritsuko: “Hey, you all are being very rude!” she angrily exclaims with her hands on her hips.

Sabr frowns while placing one hand on his hip as the idols continue to express their disgust towards him. 

Sabr: (“Okay…they obviously hate me”) he reasoned.  (“I had the feeling but…arguing with them is going to accomplish nothing”).

He has to find a way to gain their trust.

Sabr: “Hey, look I’m really sorry for showing up late” he humbly apologizes while moving his hand.  “Next time, I’ll let you know ahead of time if I’m ever late.  I understand that you all have doubts about me, but please judge me by my actions as I will do my best” he states while quickly swinging his arm off to the side to emphasize his point.

A loud clash was heard.

Kotori: “Kyahhh!” She screams as a tray of tea cups she was carrying was suddenly knocked away on to the floor by Sabr’s hand.

Sabr: “Woah! Sorry!  I didn’t see you there! Are you okay?” he quickly apologizes as he kneels down and places the broken cups onto the tray.  Kotori nods and hurries into the kitchen for napkins.

Iori: “Actions, huh? Well, now I know what to expect from you then” she grimaces while shrugging her hands.

Sabr: (“Ugh…..)” he sighs while still picking up the sharp, broken pieces.