I happened to find this old "commu rewrite" that I did on a whim one morning last winter. I posted it once in the Ami&Mami thread in the old forum.
This producer (me) was a little more clever than the usual, but Ami & Mami are unbeatable it seems.
A: Okay, here’s the problem. 'If three people are going to share twenty-five cakes, how much cake will each person get?' Ami asked the teacher which kind of cake it was, but she said it wasn't important.
M: Mami doesn't understand. Normally three people can't eat twenty-five cakes!
P: Well, I suppose you have a point but—
A: If the cakes are really small, Ami could give it a try…
M: But if it's twenty-five wedding cakes, it's hard for a person to even eat one cake.
A: So the type of cake is important!
P: (Unnh, this will take forever. I got to be firm now, for once.) Alright, but let's just assume that the cakes are so small that three people should manage to eat them all!
A: Hmm…
M: That makes sense…
A: Nii-chan isn't as dumb as he looks.
M: No, Nii-chan really isn't!
P: (Pheh! I suppose it's a step in the right direction. That's the first time since they began working here that they think something I said made sense. There's bound to be at least one more catch to this, however.)
A: But there's something else, too!
P: (Oh, here we go…) *cringes*
M: It's different if there are different kinds of people sharing the cakes.
A: Yeah, if one of them is a hungry sumo wrestler, he might eat all cakes by himself.
P: Hmm, can't we just say that it’s girls like you who are sharing the cakes?
A: But Ami-tachi are only two.
M: And there are three people sharing the cakes.
A: Arithmetic is hard, isn't it?
M: Arithmetic is hard. *nods*
P: But the third person is someone who's a lot like you!
A: Who is that?
M: Yeah, who is a lot like Mami-tachi?
P: (Who is most like them of the other girls? Yayoi?) It's Yayoi!
A: Yayoicchi?
M: That doesn't make sense!
A: Yayoicchi can't afford to buy so many cakes!
M: If Yayoicchi did, Yayoicchi would eat them all herself in a minute.
A: Ami-tachi would get nothing!
M: Nothing! *sniffle*
P: (Ach, that backfired pretty quickly. Who else, then?) Okay, it's not Yayoi, it’s Iori.
A: Iorin?
M: Iorin is rich! She wouldn't think of sharing her cakes with us!
A: Yeah, Iorin would buy really expensive cakes for herself, and Ami-tachi would get nothing this time either.
M: Arithmetic is stupid! *sniffle*
P: *groan* (That didn't work either.) Alright, it's Haruka, then.
A: Harurun?
M: Harurun makes cakes … Harurun doesn’t eat them.
A: Not while anyone's watching, anyway.
M: That's suspicious, isn't it?! *points an admonishing finger at P*
A: Soon people will start to disappear! *also points an admonishing finger at P*
P: (Aargh, I’m seriously running out of options here.) It’s Makoto.
A: Makochin?
M: Makochin is so lean. Makochin doesn't eat cakes.
A: One can't eat cakes if one's that slender.
M: If one did, one would get fat.
A: Makochin wouldn't like to get fat. *shakes head*
M: Mami-tachi wouldn't like Makochin to get fat. *shakes head*
P: (Of course, after such a line of reasoning it would be kinda rude to suggest that any of the other girls might want to eat the cakes. Once again, I've backed myself into a corner.) Fine, it's me then.
A: Nii-chan wants to share cakes with Ami-tachi?!
M: Ami and Mami and Nii-chan can go to a café and share cakes? Then Ami and Mami can see for real how many cakes each one will get!
A: Nii-chan is the best!
M: The best! *nods*
P: (I wonder if this was what they wanted all along. Oh, well, I guess I've got no choice now.) Yes, we will go and buy some cakes to share.
A+M: Yay!
P: *sigh* (Why didn't anyone tell me it was going to be this hard to produce idols. I'm going to need a vacation soon...) *pulls out money for cakes from wallet* (…and a pay raise.)
