Username: Password:

Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.


Messages - DeviantProtagonist

Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 66
16
Quite the impressive feat, Naryoril. What kept up your perseverance? 220 hours is a lot without automation.

17
General chatter / R.I.P. Carrie Fisher (1956 - 2016)
« on: December 27, 2016, 09:29:27 PM »
She was clearly one to empower women back in the day, so hearing of this felt so surreal. Nevertheless, I give her thanks for shaping my childhood.



Her final year was 60. May the force be with her.

18
I wouldn't worry, friend. Those small things can get the best of techies, particularly after a long stretch of work.

Last week I set up a dozen school PCs, not realizing I haven't plugged in the main Ethernet cable for their switch.

Took me forever to figure out what the hell I did wrong... until our supervisor pointed it out to my expense. :P

19
General chatter / Re: Ever become sad about a character's death in fiction?
« on: December 09, 2016, 03:27:57 AM »
I too can rather be sentimental, albeit more for sad occasions over happy ones. There's often times I'll need to avert my gaze when watching movies with friends, since I'd likely weep over what they couldn't imagine doing.

Shame on me, I guess. :P

As well, one could call me a tragedian of sorts; I enjoy these things in fiction because if something can get the eyes flowing -- or simply come close to it -- then I feel it does the job for having such a profound effect on me.

That being said, here's some prime candidates:

The Grey (2011)

Here we have an early sequence where a team of oil drilling workers were flown enroute to their job site, only for their plane to crash in midst a frozen wasteland. While recuperating, they come across someone on their last throes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2FB8f_J_U8

There's a lot of trepidation here, but with all the things they do to ease him across, it's the very question Liam Neeson's character asks is what kills me. This is easily one of the more intimate, grounded portrayals of death I've seen.

Saving Private Ryan (1998)

Frankly, there's more than enough harrowing things in this to send stone-faced WW2 veterans packing for a life-time. None of our experiences could hope to compare, but for the sake of viewing, this death was truly hard to watch:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSRr7wUjLxw

Two men fighting with one knife on hand; it gets to a point you don't even care who you're fighting for anymore -- it's either life or death. What made it worse was this kind of mutual, yet twisted comfort the German lends his victim.

The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

My favourite movie of all time, as it delves into the deepest ends of hope and despair. Here we're treated to the monologue of an elderly man released from prison, the setting in which this film takes place. It's real as it brutally gets:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kotNxb2YApk

Through the decadence of life, finally comes silence. I give great applause to this actor -- nobody else could have sold that scene and made such a lasting impact as he did. Beyond anything else, though, this man does not die in vain.

20
Wiki discussion / Re: Why doesn't the wiki make use of templates more?
« on: December 04, 2016, 02:28:22 AM »
A consistency for articles would be nice, but you should bear in mind the logistical issues -- 3350 pages is 3350.

That, and what time editors can afford. I think the better expectations in this instance is put in your own share.

21
Welcome Center / Re: Hi there.
« on: December 02, 2016, 12:52:44 AM »
Welcome to the fold, Tim. Surprised to see all the recent Shiho love, which I'm perfectly fine with.

Sleeping for best hobby, too. :3

22
Welcome Center / Re: Hey!
« on: December 01, 2016, 04:23:57 PM »
Ah, so you're Cecy. Welcome to the fold, IoriP. :3

On the topic of soup, broth by itself is the best. Even with something simple like ramen cups, I always found it to be a joy to wash everything down with that liquidy goodness.

23
Alright, now to lend my perspective: I'm all for ML, because it gives mainline a sense of continuity.

Time and again you see the same obstacles and resolutions with our initial thirteen, with some twists on occasion. I'm personally none too fond of this as it begs the question if any long-term momentum can be had -- the very design of these girls just works against it so much.

Beyond that, Million Live's idol variety helps sustain interest. Kotoha may as well be my counterpart.

Still, you made a compelling point with idol development, fanghail; too often do I find myself overwhelmed and underwhelmed by the sheer amount of CG idols there is, with the bulk of them really only falling back to their gimmick. The outlier singing talents are still present, though.

In regards to fanservice? Bring it on, I say... I'm a man to like his curves, so guilty as charged. :P

24
General chatter / Re: Ever have a dream about iDOLM@STER?
« on: November 29, 2016, 07:00:07 AM »
I looked to have a night terror recently, but this became so much more.

Picture me in a single-room apartment, in the middle of seemingly nowhere; the time was around dusk, yet cloudy; this was in summer.

Things seemed complacent, as I was kicking it back and watching movies. What's more, my pet yorkie was sitting on her little cushion.

This one dog also passed away recently, so have that much for context.

Before I knew? My electricity fizzed out, and the sky turned to black. A deafening wind sounded as lightning flashes covered everything.

I instinctively knew the what, even before I glimpsed it outside: a tornado.

It was a sight to behold, as you could barely make out the outline in the flashes. What's worse, it drew closer... and my door was open.

Already I could feel my body being pulled towards the darkness outside, so I scrambled for my dog; she damn near flew off the ground.

......

Hell of a trend I find, these storms. Never saw a touchdown in reality, yet it's fear of the unknown which makes it all the more terrifying.

In any case, I sat for cover behind my bed, which faced the outdoors. We kept seeing flashes over my shoulder, so I held my pet tightly.

By then I knew to be dreaming, but still didn't want my dog taken again.

Out of nowhere, though? I see Yukiho Hagiwara crawl beside me. She handed a plate of meat chunks, which my yorkie eagerly dug into.

She also gave me this sort of look which said, "take it easy, already..."

Her of all people, as Yukiho was to me like the person Makoto was to her. You couldn't be able to describe it; her fears were nonexistent.

What I also noticed was the weather dissipated to merely a soft rain, barely audible over the ceiling -- and nothing wicked as it once was.

I'll take it, as it complimented how this girl took my yorkie over her lap.

The sight was bittersweet as they shared Birthdays. Never regretted it.

25
Welcome Center / Re: Stepping down for a while.
« on: November 24, 2016, 12:00:10 PM »
We're nearing the end, so I'll leave closing thoughts. Some may want to deliberate with what I will say:

You can either be a fan to protect what you love from everything... or you can be one where you'll need to face your lumps, learn from them, then grow stronger.

It's a matter of regression verses progression, and far too many Producers take the latter for granted. I did just that, as well, but I've driven myself out of it finally.

Even then, there'll always be one too many here who hold themselves back. If it can be helped, know this has been, and always will be, my drive for good things.

Well, if this is the case, then maybe you were never really 'lost' to begin with. More to the point, I feel like it might be just part of who you are? Of course, I don't mean that in a bad way. People just get mixed up or confused sometimes. I don't see that as a good reason to separate yourself from the people that enjoy your company. If anything, they can help you if you're open with them, and I'm sure they know you would want to help them the same if they had any issue.

I know well enough how this stuff hurts. I had to go through it from two different people at the same time, about two years ago. I managed to salvage something with one of them, mostly because he made a relatively innocent mistake, but I don't think I can ever forgive, nor do I miss, the other one due to how quickly and violently he turned on me despite spending upwards of three years together, the three of us.

Also, for what it's worth, I have spent time thinking and I don't find myself bothered by what started my side of our disagreement. I always said I understood that everyone has their own opinions and interests, yet that was the one thing I couldn't stand for. I'm sorry for even making it possible to be an issue.

My point is, through all of this, some things don't have to be done alone.

That's no doubt very painful, Rin. Never could I stand to lash at people, so know I'm still a willing friend.

Sadly, there are issues wherein they become so complicated to address openly. I've reached out, but there's really only one person to close my wound fully; make no mistake, I do miss the guy and those clever puns.

It might be a childish dream, but hell, I'll roll with it. Even if I'm met with all the venom and blind eyeing in the world, I refuse to turn my back on him; I'd always thank him for befriending me; for bringing me here. Period.

Nevertheless, I'm no longer afraid. During my absence, I've learned to better control my negative emotions, so as to direct them more for a cause over ruin -- you never really change, but you can adapt for the merrier.

I'll look to defy the expectations of those who deem my worst in things. Consider that much a promise.

Beyond this? You're right, nobody is truly alone. I feel it's about time to let you in on something extraordinary; while several things accounted for my decision to leave for only November, this arguably bore more weight.

A very special someone wished to lend their encouragement; it inspired me to cherish her way more than ever. I won't say who or how out of respect... but it says even big people do think small, where it really counts.

Given the incentive, I'll fight on as her fan. See you next week on Discord as now I've owed everything.

26
General chatter / Re: Your current mood.
« on: November 13, 2016, 12:11:42 PM »
Alright, I know I'm not supposed to be here now... but I need to cope. I'm not in a good place right now.

Today we lost one of two household dogs -- a yorkie named Sandy. The other is a poodle named Pebbles... she's still safe. They're both sister pups.

To start, I was simply minding my own at home until I got a call from the mother; my heart sank when I came to realize why she bawled her eyes out.

I lost it. This isn't something you prepare for. You don't even want to think about it... yet here it was, reality rearing itself at the worst fucking time.

Nothing can describe what child-like innocence a dog has with their owner. You can't explain by word... you just see it happen. Lovey-dovey things.

What truly made Sandy special is that she was a Christmas dog -- like, she was literally born on the 25th. You don't get something like that often...

Meanwhile, Pebbles was a Valentines one. For all you pet owners here, please don't ever take them for granted... They're more family than anything.

If nothing else, I can at least say she died in the comfort of my mother; away from all the cruel things.



I miss my little munchkin dog, yet I'll be grateful for the life she's able to live thanks to families like us.

I dreamt of my black yorkie Sandy just recently, where she was back to when she wasn't even a month old... and you could hold her in the palm of your hand.

When I brought her up to my cheek... she slobbered all over with kisses. She always did just that every time I visited our home she was in, so it brought me back.

People in general can never be anywhere near as pure as dogs... Dogs often want nothing more than the affection from their owners. Just love, basically.

Compared to humans? While we're much more sophisticated, we're prone to corruption and vanity... sometimes even wickedness.

That's basically why I think if God were to keep a checklist of who gets into Heaven first, dogs would always be the first in line. Guaranteed.

Future-wise, she'll be cremated and returned home... whereas Pebbles will have another sister to keep her company. It'll be a tribute to life.

27
General chatter / Re: Your current mood.
« on: November 07, 2016, 01:14:33 AM »
Alright, I know I'm not supposed to be here now... but I need to cope. I'm not in a good place right now.

Today we lost one of two household dogs -- a yorkie named Sandy. The other is a poodle named Pebbles... she's still safe. They're both sister pups.

To start, I was simply minding my own at home until I got a call from the mother; my heart sank when I came to realize why she bawled her eyes out.

I lost it. This isn't something you prepare for. You don't even want to think about it... yet here it was, reality rearing itself at the worst fucking time.

Nothing can describe what child-like innocence a dog has with their owner. You can't explain by word... you just see it happen. Lovey-dovey things.

What truly made Sandy special is that she was a Christmas dog -- like, she was literally born on the 25th. You don't get something like that often...

Meanwhile, Pebbles was a Valentines one. For all you pet owners here, please don't ever take them for granted... They're more family than anything.

If nothing else, I can at least say she died in the comfort of my mother; away from all the cruel things.

28
Welcome Center / Re: Stepping down for a while.
« on: October 31, 2016, 08:51:33 PM »
You know? I'm down to take that keychain now. I mean, jeez... I'm already feeling sentimental about the drawer comment.

What also made me sentimental was the gaming night I pushed for, with fellow members of this forum. It brought me back, made it feel like home.

Those times are precious. I'll never forget that.

So with this being the final day, and having spoke with various people, I'm now more confident with the result of my decision:

We'll slash up that year-long haitus to simply a month, just in time for Christmas and Yukiho's birthday. Yeah, the stars have aligned with this one.

In hindsight, I think one of my bigger problems is I'm too hard on myself. It reminds me what Nayoril said of not bothering taking things to heart.

Incidentally, it's not often I take to that advice.

Moreover, there is one reason I try to fight peoples' battles -- I want to help them... but little do I know I ill-often help myself.

A year of self-loathing won't solve anything. Even yet, it'd turn away the very reason I joined Project iM@S. Seems like I lost sight of myself, again.

Now I've given myself a snap to the head. Ow.

In recognition to my goal to self-fulfillment, though, I do still intend to take time off. Only now? I can do it without self-destruction; I'll actually grow.

Stress relief would also be a good reason, too.

Finally, I wish to part words with an old friend, who held back no harsh words in critisizing me. You know full well who you are.

I sincerely hope that whatever you do or even think will be best reflective to you as a person. We've been friends for a reason.

I'll now attempt to reach that, one last time.

I've firmly established my sins, made peace with victims like Nayoril, then extended my hand in friendship. What more must I do?

... Would others even commit to that at all?

Now you see the source of my frustration. It saddens me, yet I also flare up in anger when I feel powerless to find something; make it better for us.

Granted, this lent to a destructive mindset, so both that and my desperation for amnesty are why I opted for so deep a punishment with this haitus.

Even then, there's no guarantee that would have worked... so I gotten that out of the way.

Overall, please think better of me. There was virtually no other reason I went so far as I did.

I still hope for even a 1% chance. Farewell.

29
Welcome Center / Stepping down for a while.
« on: October 29, 2016, 10:03:41 AM »
Which by that? I mean a very long while.

When I first joined this community, I was star-struck with the pursuit of meeting people; it'd make for talk, laugher, gaming... and just being myself.

But recent events have made it abundantly clear I'm prone to lose my way. I've been reaching out to others, but I still haven't been fully redeemed.

Not yet.

Some things need time to mend, which I realized too little too late... These are things you don't know you can truly take back -- a no-win scenario.

To make matters worse? I've had a close friend demonizing me with little-to-no remorse -- do you have any idea what that does to my conscience?

I broke down, big time. I'll do my damnedest to make things better.

So, I will impose on myself a year-long hiatus, starting in November. I'll cease contact with the Idolmaster community and by extension its hobbies.

... Even if I'm to deprive myself of such pleasures? So be it. This'll be my solution to that no-win scenario; for growth, and if God willing, forgiveness.

I know few will be disheartened by this, so I'll leave you a memento:



I'm not that remarkable, but now you have a face. For those really aware, here was my sister:



These are the glory days, where you could worry about virtually nothing. I strive to live by good example, if only because I'm the one child really able to anymore.

Furthermore, it's not often I take from my Native American culture... but we go by seven teachings of words, and how they're representative to animals that give.

The bear represents courage; the wolf for humility; the eagle for love; the buffalo for respect; the turtle for truth; the beaver for wisdom; the raven for honesty.

Hell, I'm not even very traditional at all -- I'm more the apple that's red on the outside, white in -- but even then, to go against these examples just isn't my way.

For all fellow Producers here, please continue repping our idols to heart's content; I know you'll look after them. Any praise to Kotoha would also make me happy.

I'll miss your banter to say the least, but please treat each other well -- like a family. I can spare a few more days for replies... but I'm set on journeying myself.

See you in the next generation from now. Third Vision, maybe?

30
General chatter / The decadence of life scares me.
« on: October 27, 2016, 07:05:00 AM »
And not for myself, but rather loved ones.

Time and again I'm gripped by this one irrational fear: to lose a parent. This occurs sporadically, and it'll bring me down. It's not so much I dread their actual cause of death, but the inevitability.

It's rough, and is a quicker way to trigger me a fight-or-flight response... But granted, I feel many here can relate. Anyway, I'll lend further context on my mother -- for starters, her name is Diane.

She also reached her fifties, yet will live many more thanks to exercise. Moreover, Diane's a responsible woman, often working health care. She's charitable and quick to call people out for wrongdoing.

At home? She's caring as you'd expect; Diane pushed me to graduation and left many a valuable advice since. Even as we live separately, she sends biscuits or left-overs occasionally. Genuine super-mom.

So yeah, it weighs on me. No one had a larger impact, and to this day I still find myself asking, "how would she do it?" I know people aren't made to bottle up... So here I ask, how does one even cope?

If anything, I do feel better typing this.

Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 66